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    <loc>https://www.latterdayskank.com/history</loc>
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    <loc>https://www.latterdayskank.com/history/the-first-vision</loc>
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    <lastmod>2025-08-25</lastmod>
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      <image:title>HISTORY - Joseph Smith’s First Vision, Kind Of - Make it stand out</image:title>
      <image:caption>Fourteen-to-sixteen-year-old Joseph Smith is visited by Dad God and Jesus God, who are both white guys.</image:caption>
    </image:image>
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  <url>
    <loc>https://www.latterdayskank.com/history/lds-polygamy</loc>
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    <lastmod>2025-08-25</lastmod>
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      <image:title>HISTORY - All The Women He Didn’t Want to Have Sex With - Make it stand out</image:title>
      <image:caption>Whatever it is, the way you tell your story online can make all the difference.</image:caption>
    </image:image>
    <image:image>
      <image:loc>https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/67329511a36c4802e2bca1bd/be48bd5e-2ecb-4083-b4ca-068d12581c56/Joseph+Smith+and+Emma+polygamy.jpg</image:loc>
      <image:title>HISTORY - All The Women He Didn’t Want to Have Sex With - “Here.” Joseph went for his pants and hunted around in his pocket before producing a piece of paper, which held his record of the revelation from God, which made polygamy a thing. “Look, I’m not the one making this stuff up. It’s a divine commandment, and I have to obey because I’m the Prophet.” Emma snatched the paper out of his hand. “Prophesy this,” she probably said, and threw it in the fire.</image:title>
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    <image:image>
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      <image:title>HISTORY - All The Women He Didn’t Want to Have Sex With - Make it stand out</image:title>
      <image:caption>Whatever it is, the way you tell your story online can make all the difference.</image:caption>
    </image:image>
    <image:image>
      <image:loc>https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/67329511a36c4802e2bca1bd/e41d890c-92e2-4de9-9960-66584f925157/Brigham+Young+Polygamy.jpeg</image:loc>
      <image:title>HISTORY - All The Women He Didn’t Want to Have Sex With - Make it stand out</image:title>
      <image:caption>Brigham Young and a smattering of his wives, at various ages. It’s also possible this is Brigham Young and a random assortment of 19th-century women in old-timey clothes. It’s not like I put these pics together myself.</image:caption>
    </image:image>
    <image:image>
      <image:loc>https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/67329511a36c4802e2bca1bd/efabcb3f-3a7b-46a1-af28-fb465a991f93/Brigham+Young+polygamy+quote.jpeg</image:loc>
      <image:title>HISTORY - All The Women He Didn’t Want to Have Sex With - Make it stand out</image:title>
      <image:caption>Whatever it is, the way you tell your story online can make all the difference.</image:caption>
    </image:image>
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  <url>
    <loc>https://www.latterdayskank.com/history/the-golden-plates</loc>
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    <lastmod>2025-08-25</lastmod>
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      <image:loc>https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/67329511a36c4802e2bca1bd/119d1bdf-daa1-49bb-bdf5-95810ecd56de/Mormon+Golden+Plates.jpeg</image:loc>
      <image:title>HISTORY - The Golden Plates - Make it stand out</image:title>
      <image:caption>Whatever it is, the way you tell your story online can make all the difference.</image:caption>
    </image:image>
    <image:image>
      <image:loc>https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/67329511a36c4802e2bca1bd/a111a09d-beac-4bfc-8a18-c1ba4b6117d8/mesopotamia+clay+tablet.jpeg</image:loc>
      <image:title>HISTORY - The Golden Plates - Mesopotamian writing of some sort, presumably.</image:title>
      <image:caption>Since I’m not actually sure what this is showing, I’m just gonna claim it’s ancient Mesopotamian erotica.</image:caption>
    </image:image>
    <image:image>
      <image:loc>https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/67329511a36c4802e2bca1bd/b7e4592b-ea6e-4faa-9466-28bfd464a36e/Papyrus+process.jpeg</image:loc>
      <image:title>HISTORY - The Golden Plates - Make it stand out</image:title>
      <image:caption>Whatever it is, the way you tell your story online can make all the difference.</image:caption>
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      <image:loc>https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/67329511a36c4802e2bca1bd/b705eeb8-f944-42bc-afd4-eaff93d83736/Writing+things+down.jpeg</image:loc>
      <image:title>HISTORY - The Golden Plates - Make it stand out</image:title>
      <image:caption>Whatever it is, the way you tell your story online can make all the difference.</image:caption>
    </image:image>
    <image:image>
      <image:loc>https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/67329511a36c4802e2bca1bd/42811574-e12f-48c1-b5fd-5f3afba1edbd/Engraving+gold.png</image:loc>
      <image:title>HISTORY - The Golden Plates - Make it stand out</image:title>
      <image:caption>Whatever it is, the way you tell your story online can make all the difference.</image:caption>
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    <loc>https://www.latterdayskank.com/history/tag/Golden+Plates</loc>
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  <url>
    <loc>https://www.latterdayskank.com/history/tag/Church+of+Jesus+Christ+of+Latter-day+Saints</loc>
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    <loc>https://www.latterdayskank.com/history/tag/The+Book+of+Mormon</loc>
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  <url>
    <loc>https://www.latterdayskank.com/history/tag/Mormon+origin+story</loc>
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  </url>
  <url>
    <loc>https://www.latterdayskank.com/history/tag/Joseph+Smith</loc>
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  </url>
  <url>
    <loc>https://www.latterdayskank.com/history/tag/Joseph+Smith%27s+First+Vision</loc>
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  </url>
  <url>
    <loc>https://www.latterdayskank.com/mormon-theology</loc>
    <changefreq>daily</changefreq>
    <priority>0.75</priority>
    <lastmod>2025-08-18</lastmod>
  </url>
  <url>
    <loc>https://www.latterdayskank.com/mormon-theology/holy-gaslighting</loc>
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    <priority>0.5</priority>
    <lastmod>2025-08-25</lastmod>
    <image:image>
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      <image:title>THEOLOGY - Holy Gaslighting - Make it stand out</image:title>
      <image:caption>Whatever it is, the way you tell your story online can make all the difference.</image:caption>
    </image:image>
    <image:image>
      <image:loc>https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/67329511a36c4802e2bca1bd/02894514-40ab-4adb-94da-5f0e2329d212/Abraham+and+Issac.jpeg</image:loc>
      <image:title>THEOLOGY - Holy Gaslighting - Make it stand out</image:title>
      <image:caption>Whatever it is, the way you tell your story online can make all the difference.</image:caption>
    </image:image>
    <image:image>
      <image:loc>https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/67329511a36c4802e2bca1bd/4d53189e-6d76-46e3-b0bb-360feec35f04/Distrust.png</image:loc>
      <image:title>THEOLOGY - Holy Gaslighting - Make it stand out</image:title>
      <image:caption>Whatever it is, the way you tell your story online can make all the difference.</image:caption>
    </image:image>
    <image:image>
      <image:loc>https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/67329511a36c4802e2bca1bd/7187f503-ac8c-4c3b-8c60-7f961f659ace/Polygamy%2C+2.jpeg</image:loc>
      <image:title>THEOLOGY - Holy Gaslighting - Make it stand out</image:title>
      <image:caption>Whatever it is, the way you tell your story online can make all the difference.</image:caption>
    </image:image>
    <image:image>
      <image:loc>https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/67329511a36c4802e2bca1bd/5c74f0bd-db1a-4992-9d31-b0fa5955e002/man-woman-are-standing-room-with-window-them-they-are-both-looking-camera-their-faces-are-visible-room-is-dimly-lit-shadows-couple.jpg</image:loc>
      <image:title>THEOLOGY - Holy Gaslighting - Make it stand out</image:title>
      <image:caption>Whatever it is, the way you tell your story online can make all the difference.</image:caption>
    </image:image>
    <image:image>
      <image:loc>https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/67329511a36c4802e2bca1bd/484f3fdc-caa5-4261-9f8c-c3ca71acd249/Image+2-20-25+at+8.06%E2%80%AFPM.jpeg</image:loc>
      <image:title>THEOLOGY - Holy Gaslighting - Make it stand out</image:title>
      <image:caption>Whatever it is, the way you tell your story online can make all the difference.</image:caption>
    </image:image>
    <image:image>
      <image:loc>https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/67329511a36c4802e2bca1bd/e02e0e4b-8355-446e-8953-eedbd87dae17/Intermarriage+quote.jpg</image:loc>
      <image:title>THEOLOGY - Holy Gaslighting - You guys.</image:title>
      <image:caption>This is one of the LESS nasty and offensive quotes about race from a Mormon prophet. I straight up will not put some of the stuff said by Brigham Young or Spencer W. Kimball here - it’s too vile.</image:caption>
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    <image:image>
      <image:loc>https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/67329511a36c4802e2bca1bd/1740110599423-7PP2J4EFTW6PC2WTR7FE/unsplash-image-ZFNRJJ94vfU.jpg</image:loc>
      <image:title>THEOLOGY - Holy Gaslighting - Make it stand out</image:title>
      <image:caption>Whatever it is, the way you tell your story online can make all the difference.</image:caption>
    </image:image>
    <image:image>
      <image:loc>https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/67329511a36c4802e2bca1bd/d0f93a06-11db-44c3-9acc-b94366f3a391/Truth+destroys+quote.jpeg</image:loc>
      <image:title>THEOLOGY - Holy Gaslighting - Make it stand out</image:title>
      <image:caption>Whatever it is, the way you tell your story online can make all the difference.</image:caption>
    </image:image>
  </url>
  <url>
    <loc>https://www.latterdayskank.com/mormon-theology/too-holy-for-words</loc>
    <changefreq>monthly</changefreq>
    <priority>0.5</priority>
    <lastmod>2025-08-25</lastmod>
    <image:image>
      <image:loc>https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/67329511a36c4802e2bca1bd/8d27e159-129e-4652-8fe4-7d823caff798/White+Mother+in+Heaven.jpg</image:loc>
      <image:title>THEOLOGY - Too Holy For Words. Literally. - As you can tell from this rare photograph, Mother in Heaven is both super white and sporting a stylish early-2000s haircut.</image:title>
      <image:caption>Everyone knows that Mother in Heaven is both white and blonde, just like Dad God and Jesus God.</image:caption>
    </image:image>
    <image:image>
      <image:loc>https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/67329511a36c4802e2bca1bd/dc41f790-b424-4b12-b2c3-2a691acfd905/ChatGPT+Image+May+2%2C+2025+at+08_33_03+PM.png</image:loc>
      <image:title>THEOLOGY - Too Holy For Words. Literally. - You may be thinking to yourself, “Wait. How can someone be TOO HOLY to listen to my prayers? How is it possible that Heavenly Father isn’t too holy, but Heavenly Mother IS too holy?” And to that I say, why are you questioning our Church leaders? Are you saying that you know better than they do? Why would you ask a question that isn’t faith-promoting?</image:title>
      <image:caption>The reason I was given for this wholesale rejection of speaking to (or about) Heavenly Mother was based on chivalry: our Heavenly Father didn’t want people to say mean things about her, so he just made it so nobody would say anything at all. People with weak faith and apostates might say things like, “Wait, isn’t she basically capable of standing up for herself? I mean, if she’s the all-knowing co-ruler of the universe, is she really gonna get her feel-bads hurt if someone calls her a mean name?” Fortunately, we don’t listen to people with weak faith, or apostates.</image:caption>
    </image:image>
  </url>
  <url>
    <loc>https://www.latterdayskank.com/mormon-theology/save-the-dead-people</loc>
    <changefreq>monthly</changefreq>
    <priority>0.5</priority>
    <lastmod>2025-08-25</lastmod>
    <image:image>
      <image:loc>https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/67329511a36c4802e2bca1bd/97f7eed4-40b5-4393-80bd-51d204a7f1cf/Zombie+angels+going+to+heaven.png</image:loc>
      <image:title>THEOLOGY - Save the Dead People - Make it stand out</image:title>
      <image:caption>Whatever it is, the way you tell your story online can make all the difference.</image:caption>
    </image:image>
    <image:image>
      <image:loc>https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/67329511a36c4802e2bca1bd/e83536be-ffcf-4295-91f5-6107cb278379/Hell+and+the+balrog.png</image:loc>
      <image:title>THEOLOGY - Save the Dead People - Is it hell? Is it the Telestial Kingdom? Is it the Balrog in the Mines of Moria?</image:title>
      <image:caption>Yes.</image:caption>
    </image:image>
    <image:image>
      <image:loc>https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/67329511a36c4802e2bca1bd/95c31b59-37bb-4d6a-852b-5ac93f3e4d97/Premortal+life+clip+art.jpg</image:loc>
      <image:title>THEOLOGY - Save the Dead People - Make it stand out</image:title>
      <image:caption>Whatever it is, the way you tell your story online can make all the difference.</image:caption>
    </image:image>
    <image:image>
      <image:loc>https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/67329511a36c4802e2bca1bd/cd42064f-8a95-4cf2-9368-f1dbe1d9d200/Pre-existance%2C+sci-fi+version.jpg</image:loc>
      <image:title>THEOLOGY - Save the Dead People - As you can see, Heavenly Father, Jesus, and whatever other guy is standing on the stairs (Bill? Lucifer? We may never know for sure) are all white guys.</image:title>
      <image:caption>This is a rare photograph of the exact moment at which Heavenly Father revealed that 90 billion people or so were gonna flunk earth life through accident of birth.</image:caption>
    </image:image>
    <image:image>
      <image:loc>https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/67329511a36c4802e2bca1bd/5f0c7c4c-e7d0-424a-88ea-7a362364a5ce/Dear+God+this+is+so+complicated+plan+of+salvation.jpg</image:loc>
      <image:title>THEOLOGY - Save the Dead People - Make it stand out</image:title>
      <image:caption>This flow chart gives you a general idea of the broad strokes of Heavenly Father’s plan, though it DOES skip the part where most people in the history of ever will be born during a time that has neither a) the One True Church available on the face of the earth, and b) reliable record-keeping systems paired with widespread literacy.</image:caption>
    </image:image>
    <image:image>
      <image:loc>https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/67329511a36c4802e2bca1bd/f72d622b-a054-48c0-b4b6-c9e53d765aaa/Old+baptism+drawing.jpg</image:loc>
      <image:title>THEOLOGY - Save the Dead People - Make it stand out</image:title>
      <image:caption>Whatever it is, the way you tell your story online can make all the difference.</image:caption>
    </image:image>
  </url>
  <url>
    <loc>https://www.latterdayskank.com/mormon-theology/families-all-the-way-down</loc>
    <changefreq>monthly</changefreq>
    <priority>0.5</priority>
    <lastmod>2025-08-25</lastmod>
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      <image:loc>https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/67329511a36c4802e2bca1bd/66faa89f-57cf-4f76-8a74-7690a03e9aba/Mormon+families.jpg</image:loc>
      <image:title>THEOLOGY - It’s Families All the Way Down - Make it stand out</image:title>
      <image:caption>Whatever it is, the way you tell your story online can make all the difference.</image:caption>
    </image:image>
    <image:image>
      <image:loc>https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/67329511a36c4802e2bca1bd/d94f88e6-20a3-4698-b69b-8ceb683777ca/Mormon+Family+Temple.jpeg</image:loc>
      <image:title>THEOLOGY - It’s Families All the Way Down - Look how happy this family is!</image:title>
      <image:caption>This is because they know that their Dad will be saying things like, “He who smelt it, dealt it” into the next millennium.</image:caption>
    </image:image>
  </url>
  <url>
    <loc>https://www.latterdayskank.com/mormon-theology/tag/Mormon+leadership</loc>
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  <url>
    <loc>https://www.latterdayskank.com/mormon-theology/tag/Feminism</loc>
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  <url>
    <loc>https://www.latterdayskank.com/mormon-theology/tag/Mother+in+Heaven</loc>
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  <url>
    <loc>https://www.latterdayskank.com/mormon-theology/tag/Misogyny</loc>
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  </url>
  <url>
    <loc>https://www.latterdayskank.com/mormon-theology/tag/Mormon+gaslighting</loc>
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  <url>
    <loc>https://www.latterdayskank.com/mormon-theology/tag/LDS+leadership</loc>
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  </url>
  <url>
    <loc>https://www.latterdayskank.com/culture</loc>
    <changefreq>daily</changefreq>
    <priority>0.75</priority>
    <lastmod>2025-08-26</lastmod>
  </url>
  <url>
    <loc>https://www.latterdayskank.com/culture/mormon-girls-guide-to-sex</loc>
    <changefreq>monthly</changefreq>
    <priority>0.5</priority>
    <lastmod>2025-08-25</lastmod>
    <image:image>
      <image:loc>https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/67329511a36c4802e2bca1bd/6f5bb7b6-f83d-4a84-9abe-68688d0b7944/Mormon+sex+weirdness.jpg</image:loc>
      <image:title>CULTURE - The Mormon Girl’s Guide to Sex - Make it stand out</image:title>
      <image:caption>Whatever it is, the way you tell your story online can make all the difference.</image:caption>
    </image:image>
    <image:image>
      <image:loc>https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/67329511a36c4802e2bca1bd/e9b11c05-d1a5-4fe8-84f1-4ca7f5e8040a/Bad+Sex+Ed.png</image:loc>
      <image:title>CULTURE - The Mormon Girl’s Guide to Sex - I had no idea what anyone meant when they said, “sex” (which they almost never did), or the more off-putting, “sexual intercourse” (also, thankfully, rarely said), or, more commonly, “immorality.” Your third-grader knows more about sex than I did in the tenth grade. I spent a shockingly long period of time convinced that a) sex involved boys peeing on girls, and b) you could get pregnant through kissing with tongue.</image:title>
    </image:image>
    <image:image>
      <image:loc>https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/67329511a36c4802e2bca1bd/54957702-c683-40c1-9956-d72c45546346/Why+BJ%3F.jpg</image:loc>
      <image:title>CULTURE - The Mormon Girl’s Guide to Sex - A blow job is very useful for the following reasons: It’s a way you can stay “technically” abstinent. (See above, “abstinence.'“) It’s how you keep from getting pregnant if you think that Heavenly Father hates birth control and your uterus screams at you every time your husband tells you that he’s pretty sure that Baby #7 is hanging out in the Pre-Existence, hoping that you’ll keep your promise to be its mommy. It will end most conversations.</image:title>
    </image:image>
    <image:image>
      <image:loc>https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/67329511a36c4802e2bca1bd/0cc9842b-257e-45da-a33f-55fbddca240f/Mount+Clitoris.jpg</image:loc>
      <image:title>CULTURE - The Mormon Girl’s Guide to Sex - According to a significant subsection of Mormon men, the mystery, danger, and inaccessibility of all of these geographic areas is dwarfed by the greatest, most elusive locale of them all: the clitoris.</image:title>
      <image:caption>The clitoris, the woman’s pleasure center where most of her most exciting nerve endings are located, is simply impossible to find. Brave and noble men have died in the attempt. Sure, some women and gynecologists might claim that it’s an easily identifiable mound of flesh at the junction of the inner lips of the vulva. They clearly don’t understand how difficult it is to navigate women’s genitalia.</image:caption>
    </image:image>
    <image:image>
      <image:loc>https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/67329511a36c4802e2bca1bd/af8566d5-0899-46a7-808f-3b16bde51650/gif.gif</image:loc>
      <image:title>CULTURE - The Mormon Girl’s Guide to Sex - Make it stand out</image:title>
      <image:caption>(If you know, you know.)</image:caption>
    </image:image>
    <image:image>
      <image:loc>https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/67329511a36c4802e2bca1bd/ed35b15e-d01a-42ea-83d4-aab0a45e2b97/virginity.jpg</image:loc>
      <image:title>CULTURE - The Mormon Girl’s Guide to Sex - The problem, of course, was that there needed to be a lot of dimensions to the absolute value of a woman, much like there would be with a horse.</image:title>
      <image:caption>One guy, who was probably named Chad or Brett, said, “I think it’s important to know if some other guy has sexed up my woman property before me. You ask me, that hugely impacts resale value.”</image:caption>
    </image:image>
    <image:image>
      <image:loc>https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/67329511a36c4802e2bca1bd/e3d7cb7d-49e6-48c7-86cf-80e998574d25/Hapsburg+chin.png</image:loc>
      <image:title>CULTURE - The Mormon Girl’s Guide to Sex - Not having a chin is one possible impact of inbreeding.</image:title>
      <image:caption>Having too much of one is another, as generations of Hapsburg families could tell you.</image:caption>
    </image:image>
    <image:image>
      <image:loc>https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/67329511a36c4802e2bca1bd/5e22bb11-7e04-448c-aeee-b3846c3dd950/Kink+asking+why.jpg</image:loc>
      <image:title>CULTURE - The Mormon Girl’s Guide to Sex - In the real world, kink comes in all shapes, sizes, flavors, and costumes. There are people who like dressing up like animals to, ahem, fuck like bunnies. There are people who enjoy a good whip, chain, and/or ball gag. There are people who enjoy messing with bodily fluids that, in other circumstances, you would have to pay nurses a good wage to clean up. There are people who like being with several other people, and people who don’t want to touch the other person at all. No kinks are wrong, as long as they involve genuinely consenting adults and don’t harm anyone else.</image:title>
    </image:image>
    <image:image>
      <image:loc>https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/67329511a36c4802e2bca1bd/f1f1e861-c67c-4459-9157-7f51f264f13e/Sex+shouldn%27t+be+fun.jpg</image:loc>
      <image:title>CULTURE - The Mormon Girl’s Guide to Sex - Multiple Orgasms. One of the many reasons that men are jealous of us and thus have to try to control us through assaholic religious structures. We get multiple orgasms, they don’t. HAHAHAHAHAHA. This is probably also why Church leaders keep saying dumb shit like sex isn’t supposed to be fun.</image:title>
    </image:image>
    <image:image>
      <image:loc>https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/67329511a36c4802e2bca1bd/e3b2d4e8-4097-4b27-a541-e17d475a05a6/Ryan+gosling+mormon+meme.jpeg</image:loc>
      <image:title>CULTURE - The Mormon Girl’s Guide to Sex - No, it was not. It was NOT an orgasm. An orgasm is all the best sunsets of your life packaged in molten gold and starlight, and experienced simultaneously during a ride to Mercury on a private jet with Ryan Gosling. An orgasm is a supernova made of nacho cheese erupting through every fiber of your being and shattering the space-time barrier.</image:title>
      <image:caption>This is the best guidance I can give you about orgasms: NEVER fake one. All that does is reward bad behavior. Don’t encourage a guy to keep fucking you in an inadequate way.</image:caption>
    </image:image>
    <image:image>
      <image:loc>https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/67329511a36c4802e2bca1bd/a457fd7a-7e9d-450a-b2ee-d45179021331/Mormon+Garments.jpg</image:loc>
      <image:title>CULTURE - The Mormon Girl’s Guide to Sex - The reason why this is about sex is because there is NOTHING LESS SEXY than seeing your beloved in temple garments. When that same sister was pregnant with her third baby and her husband saw her in the maternity temple garments, he said (and I’m quoting), “Those are enough to make me never want to have sex for any reason ever again.”</image:title>
    </image:image>
    <image:image>
      <image:loc>https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/67329511a36c4802e2bca1bd/45f70fae-e7d0-4c9a-9bcc-c1b44c3e7a9f/high+school+boyfriend.jpg</image:loc>
      <image:title>CULTURE - The Mormon Girl’s Guide to Sex - This is not me and Vern. But this is definitely a picture that I would like you to use to visualize me and Vern.</image:title>
      <image:caption>We were never this coordinated and frankly I wasn’t either popular enough or rich enough to wear UGGs.</image:caption>
    </image:image>
    <image:image>
      <image:loc>https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/67329511a36c4802e2bca1bd/d17cb275-aff5-45ed-9e6e-8fe233d756d3/withdrawal+nonsense.jpg</image:loc>
      <image:title>CULTURE - The Mormon Girl’s Guide to Sex - I once got off of Effexor, and even with tapering I was reasonably certain that I was going to end up either on the news for burning something to the ground or in jail because I did some light murder. I now subscribe to better living through chemistry. My serotonin isn’t produced naturally, it’s store bought, but my brain doesn’t care why it’s happy as long as it is. There are other kinds of withdrawals, of course.</image:title>
    </image:image>
    <image:image>
      <image:loc>https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/67329511a36c4802e2bca1bd/6492a54c-b09b-435e-9678-4d878f3450ac/Frienzonememe.jpg</image:loc>
      <image:title>CULTURE - The Mormon Girl’s Guide to Sex - A friend doesn’t hang out with a friend in the hope that someday you’ll get into their pants. That’s absolute bullshit. And if you were just pretending to be her friend because you thought her boobs were amazing and were hoping she’d let you cop a feel, then not only are you not her friend, you are also a liar. You willfully misrepresented yourself and your motives, which means you suck.</image:title>
      <image:caption>If she told you she wanted to be friends, it’s possibly because she’s terrified that if she doesn’t try to placate you, you’ll go apeshit like a bajillion other guys, and scream at her, “I never wanted to date you in the first place, you fat, stuck-up bitch! You should be grateful I was willing to let you lick my dick!” and then get on Instagram or TikTok to whine like a hungry cow about how girls won’t date the nice guys.</image:caption>
    </image:image>
  </url>
  <url>
    <loc>https://www.latterdayskank.com/culture/definitely-not-a-cult</loc>
    <changefreq>monthly</changefreq>
    <priority>0.5</priority>
    <lastmod>2025-08-25</lastmod>
    <image:image>
      <image:loc>https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/67329511a36c4802e2bca1bd/dfd2924c-a899-4d5f-809f-235c69ebf722/Cults+2.jpg</image:loc>
      <image:title>CULTURE - Definitely Not A Cult - Make it stand out</image:title>
      <image:caption>Whatever it is, the way you tell your story online can make all the difference.</image:caption>
    </image:image>
    <image:image>
      <image:loc>https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/67329511a36c4802e2bca1bd/f1870dad-4477-40cb-9ff7-ac6916f1b0d1/ChatGPT+Image+May+26%2C+2025+at+12_00_35+AM.png</image:loc>
      <image:title>CULTURE - Definitely Not A Cult - It’s time for me to set the record straight, once and for all. This continual mischaracterization and slander has to stop, and I am the skank to stop it.</image:title>
      <image:caption>Let’s go ahead and take a close look at the key characteristics of cults, which will make it clear to everyone how ridiculous it is to call the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints a cult. According to research that I’m too lazy to reference, cults share the following characteristics:</image:caption>
    </image:image>
    <image:image>
      <image:loc>https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/67329511a36c4802e2bca1bd/a459d45e-8956-4b56-ba04-549e86db2c12/Cult+leaders.png</image:loc>
      <image:title>CULTURE - Definitely Not A Cult - Make it stand out</image:title>
      <image:caption>Whatever it is, the way you tell your story online can make all the difference.</image:caption>
    </image:image>
    <image:image>
      <image:loc>https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/67329511a36c4802e2bca1bd/e6427e68-1ccd-4392-9578-11879d9b4a7e/Joseph+Smith+and+his+hat+and+a+scribe.jpg</image:loc>
      <image:title>CULTURE - Definitely Not A Cult - Joseph Smith, clearly translating the Book of Mormon from Golden Plates, even though the Golden Plates are not in evidence and what Joseph seems to be doing is staring into his hat, which is holding magic rocks.</image:title>
      <image:caption>Could a cult leader do this? I think we both know the answer to that.</image:caption>
    </image:image>
    <image:image>
      <image:loc>https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/67329511a36c4802e2bca1bd/76a96d0d-f6e7-425c-870e-abad79b7d287/Massive+white+Mormon+family.jpg</image:loc>
      <image:title>CULTURE - Definitely Not A Cult - I mean, just TRY to be isolated in that family.</image:title>
      <image:caption>Seriously, try, and if you figure it out, please share. There are a ton of Mormon kids who want to know how you did it.</image:caption>
    </image:image>
    <image:image>
      <image:loc>https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/67329511a36c4802e2bca1bd/4d5d5d50-2902-4696-bbc1-5de26349b66d/Calling.jpg</image:loc>
      <image:title>CULTURE - Definitely Not A Cult - It’s only exploitation if you don’t WANT to do the thing, and we all definitely want to do the thing. 100% of us, 100% of the time.</image:title>
    </image:image>
    <image:image>
      <image:loc>https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/67329511a36c4802e2bca1bd/e73b6100-6a4b-44f3-9b2d-4a5cfa9274ae/Church+leaders+can%27t+lead+you+astray.jpeg</image:loc>
      <image:title>CULTURE - Definitely Not A Cult - Make it stand out</image:title>
      <image:caption>Whatever it is, the way you tell your story online can make all the difference.</image:caption>
    </image:image>
    <image:image>
      <image:loc>https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/67329511a36c4802e2bca1bd/6e9695ae-5cc4-4319-acb7-af29ffb1bce1/Leaders+are+never+wrong.jpg</image:loc>
      <image:title>CULTURE - Definitely Not A Cult - Make it stand out</image:title>
      <image:caption>Whatever it is, the way you tell your story online can make all the difference.</image:caption>
    </image:image>
  </url>
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